Why I won’t LP/Stream Dark Souls and the likes

I’ve been binge watching Extra Play’s series on Dark Souls (with the under title “Dan sucks at Dark Souls”) lately and found myself oddly intrigued by the game. I’d previously heard about Dark Souls, how it’s incredibly unforgiving and generally really hard so I never paid it much mind on the basis that I’m not that competitive, I don’t necessarily find hard games all that entertaining. Usually they just frustrate the hell out of me.
But after seeing the first few episodes I was suddenly intrigued. There was a story there and it’s interestingly told. Usually this would just lead me to continue watching Let’s Plays of it to get the story but in this case I suddenly had an urge to play it for myself, to be able to explore it on my own.
So, I’ve been dipping my toes into it. I’ve spent maybe a couple of hours in it so far, just barely exploring the area around Firelink Shrine (for those who haven’t played the game, basically the first place you arrive after the tutorial area). I think my death counter is already in double digits, mostly because I’m really clumsy with a controller and tend to occasionally fall off ledges.

Now, as a let’s player this could be a potential “gold mine” for materials as there are epic moments and plenty of hilariously not-so-epic moments. I mean, I loved all the janky glitches and my poor play in Assassin’s Creed 2 (and other people seemed to enjoy it too). But I can’t bring myself to record Dark Souls, and even less to stream it. And I started wondering just why I reacted so strongly just to the thought.
So, after mulling it over for a while I came to the conclusion that I’m scared. I’m scared of the feedback that would come out of it, of all the abuse I expect to get for not being awesome at the game (and probably doing things completely the wrong way around).
I absolutely love getting feedback from my viewers, it’s one of the main reasons I do Let’s Plays. I started Let’s Playing just because I missed the cosy banter and thought provoking discussions on the games that I played that I used to get while playing together with friends. And I must admit that while I don’t get too many comments so far, the vast majority of the ones I do get are positive, informative and generally just have a nice tone.
But I’m scared of putting up anything with a “rabid” fanbase or anything competitive. Because as I’ve often mentioned I’m really not a competitive person. I like just faffing about in my games, exploring, testing random things etc. And this seems to trigger certain people online.
I can understand some degree of backseat gaming because I think all of us gamers do that or fight the urge to do it every now and again when we see others play, but what I don’t get is why people do it in such a vehement way. And if you stumble over something you don’t personally like, why bother spending time telling someone just how much they suck? It’s not like they’re going to change to your whims because you throw abuse at them.

But back to my point. I’m scared of recording that type of content simply because my previous experiences tell me it’ll only lead to more abuse.
For example, my first Let’s Play series was of Starcraft 2 Wings of Liberty and I got some outright nasty comments on those videos simply because I’m not all that good at RTS. It’s quite apparent that you’re not “allowed” to make gaming content if you’re “not good” at the game you’re making content of. Which boggles my mind, especially seeing how much more popular it seems to be to do blind Let’s Plays rather than non-blind ones. How are you supposed to be good at something when it’s the first time you’re playing it? And why does it necessarily matter? My bad playing may just as well lead to silly and humourus moments rather than epic ones, but that’s a big part of entertainment too, isn’t it?

And then there’s the point of streaming. I’ve done a few test streams and so far my general experience has been that people only check out my channel because I’m a girl rather than for the game I’m playing and usually they decide that I’m too ugly to watch so they toss out some random abuse and leave. Or sit there continually abusing me, trying to make me stop streaming because they don’t want to see my face. Which is just stupid on their part, go watch someone else then you tits.

While I’m generally very appreciative of my subscribers and commenters (I love you lot, thank you for sticking with me!) I’m still scared of posting certain content. Maybe one day I’ll get over it, but for now I think I’ll try to stick to non-competitive games and staying away from streaming games.

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